Expanded notes from diary, 6/15/20

Smoked some cannabis for the first time in a while and could feel the trip taking me to a dark place. Negative fear pangs, archonic thrusts through my body. A rough turn this has been compared to the last time. Could feel the threat of “eternal Hell” or what Z calls the “infinite shattering” creeping back into my mind.

But then I opened the book I’m reading, Teilhard de Charden’s work entitled The Phenomenon of Man, and through his words I instantly felt a shift. Neurons shifted, brain chemistry shifting to a more positive, hopeful place. 

It was this passage, in his analysis of TOTAL MATTER, he writes,

“B. The Totum

 Now, if we consider this whole [of Matter] more attentively, we quickly see that it is something quite other than a mere entanglement of articulated inter-connections. If one says fabric or network, one thinks of a homogeneous plexus of similar units which it may indeed be impossible to section, but of which it is sufficient to have recognized the basic unit and to have defined the law to be able to understand the whole by repetition : a crystal or arabesque whose laws are valid for whatever space it fills, but which is wholly contained in a single mesh. 

Between such a structure and the structure of matter there is nothing in common. In its different orders of magnitude, matter never repeats its different combinations. For expedience and simplicity we sometimes like to imagine the world as being a series of planetary systems superimposed, the one on the other, and grading from the infinitely small to the infinitely big : Pascal’s two abysses once again. This is only an illusion. The envelopes composing matter are thoroughly heterogeneous the one with regard to the other. First we have a vague circle of electrons and other inferior units ; then a better defined circle of simple bodies in which the elements are distributed as periodic functions of the atom of hydrogen ; farther on another circle, of inexhaustible molecular combinations ; and lastly, jumping or recoiling from the infinitesimal to the infinite, a circle of stars and galaxies. These multiple zones of the cosmos envelope without imitating each other in such a way that we cannot pass from one to another by a simple change of coefficients. Here is no repetition of the same theme on a different scale. The order and the design do not appear except in the whole. The mesh of the universe is the universe itself…(p.45)” 

Each part of matter is heterogeneous from every other part. The pattern changes uniquely at each level of organization of matter. So let’s examine what Z calls the “infinite shattering”. Let’s also keep in mind that we are dealing on the plane of mind and spirit here which is clearly the most complex level, at least that we are aware of currently. Christ is the imagination. Imagination is “the Savior”. Now if matter is heterogeneous and not inert homogeneous bits of the number one, the Totum is not likened to 1’s and 0’s, as in binary computer code –  which is how alt. Media “truthers” like Z want to define the Mom-Sophia Supercomputer Demiurge Maya matrix. 

He says we came into that system to finish Her job – a “dangerous rescue mission.” If we fail we are stuck in Her infinite hell, he says.  Stuck in the ones that are ever dividing into more ones. I say what evidence is there for that, when this realm is clearly part of the Totum. God. Wherever we look, under every rock and microscope.

Clearly, complexity is preserved. That’s how matter works. It doesn’t shatter infinitely in the same way. Thus there is always the element of imagination; a non-dual component. Each level can surprise you, and does not by itself predict the next level. It surprised the first scientist or shaman who penetrated that level of matter. For example obtaining knowledge of the subatomic or quantum realms always brings a shock and awe value to the discoverer.  There is no reason to expect any different, ever. Why would matter suddenly switch as though we are stretching it too thin, why would the data field suddenly switch one day into ones and zeros; code that is predictable or homogenous at all levels? To suspect such a day and to predict of it is just hearsay, and superstition as far as I am concerned, and I think I can think of a few writers/philosophers to back that assertion up. Sure there is an entropic, stretching thin or cooling quality to the universe, but this is only on a superficial level, not taking into account the quantum realms or the human realm of spirit and imagination, which is ever increasing in connectivity and complexity, in reverse of entropy.

So I hope you see the clever mind game Z is playing for you to set a fear-based neurological trap, amid a bed of valid information about the  magnetic poetry of the system we’re in. 

Sure, I’ll give him that. He was like a brother of Jason Bickford when it came to that. He would decode the matrix pretty well. Dammit, he was fascinating. But so many of those insider whistle-blower types are. They  invariably come from so-called “elite” bloodlines apparently. They probably all play this game of setting nihilistic stink bombs in each other’s faces. Through ritual abuse, at a young age. These tricks are codified, visual, symbol and word based.

The info is fixed through words, and stories. And energy. Vibes. An idea can be planted virally by listening to another person who knows these codified tricks for making people believe them, and then they can exercise a certain degree of control over them. Cult leader tactics.

It’s all about who you believe. And what takes hold in the mind, what you allow to take root. Like the film Inception. People can go into your subconscious with their words or symbols or even the written word. They can infect you with ideas that seem perfectly valid but lead ever so seductively into dark places of panic, fear, loathing, weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Read page 45 of Mouravieff again and again. As long as it takes to have faith and hope reworked into your mind. To do proper battle with the demon ideas in your subconscious. We are in the age of information warfare. And it’s in full swing. The majority are currently in this fear-box that is mimetically viral, not bio-chemically viral, as the mainstream media news COVID psyop is making it seem to be. It is viral warfare, to be sure, but it’s taking place on the level of the mind. It’s information/Inception warfare. So the blue-pillers are in incepted with Corona/racism/random-acts-of-violence false-flag programs leading to nihilism, hatred, agoraphobia, and chaos.

And the red pillers are more tricky and nuanced, but still often they get boxed into fear programs. Such as the one espoused by Z, or Aug Tellez, or Donald Marshall , or David Icke, etc., etc.

But then you find someone like Lily Kolosova, who is a breath of fresh air. And then you read Goddard and Carl Jung who are much more optimistic. And the shrewd scientific mind of de Chardin who in two paragraphs deprograms the Infinite Shattering/eternal-hell-fear-box with his simple but beautiful formula for Matter itself. Is not God in all the unique levels of organized matter? Why should we expect it to be any different, ever? Especially since what really matters about matter is happening on the most complex and cherished level, that of mind and spirit? That of intuition, dreams, visions and emotions, of love. In short, of imagination. The power of awareness of God everywhere you look. That’s Christ. That’s the Christ within. The son that must be born again. Baptized in fire, of spirit. Born into your own anchored eternity. Writing your own timeline with your own unique God code. The Totum flowing through you. Earth seed. 

“God is change,” Octavia Butler writes. And we all yield to it.

And when two polar beings do that together, they can write a whole universe.

It’s only hearsay and rumors that the capability inherent in phenomena should ever lose the ability to do that (Hell cages). Just because at some point in the future it gets pushed too far? That theory only holds up in an unconscious, dead universe, or one where God is inherently sadistic to his own creation. I don’t see enough evidence for either of these hypothetical scenarios.

Even if something like that is true with the notion of a time limit for the evolution of man, it applies to the cosmic system of octaves. Which itself is infinite according to its own laws. And our souls are immortal, and since we clearly incarnated into this particular octave, should it be doomed to the fire, no reason to believe it couldn’t happen again. 

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” said Edward Hickson.

Satan’s mill will always be running. But it runs on human suffering, and you can choose to take part in it or not. It’s all about a shift in perspective. Accept only good ideas. Imaginative ideas, ideas containing the element of the unlimited: the Totum.

Think only thoughts recognizing the infinite connection to the ineffable Totum of reality. Endless variation on all levels of matter. Flesh and spirit in an infinite dance of variety. A male and female dance. Marking time with a unique stamp. 

Time travel.

It’s kind of like on the astral plane these clever cult leaders with their fear programs are walking around pants off and an erection and the words spray-painted on their chest “can I stick this in your ass?”

It’s going to destroy you. If you let it. Laura is infected with one of these fear-box programs as well. I suspect these programs are at root an entity attachment. She believes the technological mark of the beast is going to send most people on this planet into infinite Hell. There we are again with this no-hope-endless-doom-fear-box.

The meme, the idea, is the entity’s fishing hook and bait, and where an idea sticks, through plausiblity and repetition, that’s when they can attach and start sucking. Their idea has been ‘incepted.’

“Be careful,” Laura warned me after reading through Z’s material. “You are still writing your own Akashic record.” So she recognized his demon, but can’t see her own.

Well I’ll write my way out of Hell, if I have to. Just like Burroughs did. And de Chardin, apparently. And Blake. And Goddard. All the greats. The ones who wrote such rich words of hope and promise. How can my intuition steer me back to Z and his looshing? Why does his message still sometimes exert control over me? George recognized a “dark cult element” to Z right away. 

“See, all that, is paladin thinking.” Z would counter. He would claim that George and Laura are in the yum-yum drip phase. Living in denial, in wishful thinking because it ‘feels good.’

So says paladin Samuel L Jackson in the film ‘Jumper.’ Paladins are assigned to kill, sidetrack, or gate-keep humans who are red-pilling.

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At the frontier of death and oblivion now. Goddard says when you die you awaken from a dream or meditation. You’re 20 years old in a body that looks like you. But Mouravieff says that destination only comes rarely through intense inner esoteric work. Otherwise, he says, you reincarnate back in the same body with the same set of parents in the same year as before – the time loop film of your life – the Groundhog’s Day effect or the Ouroboros. (See Gurdjieff’s theory of ‘recurrence.’)

But fear comes from knowledge or innerstanding or gnosis of “the wrath of God.” There is a lake of fire, and an unknown behind it. Man, standing at the edge of this abyss, feeling the heat of the flames lap at his feet, assumes the fire is eternal, or else that he is “marked for total disposal in the ovens,” as Burroughs put it.

“Erase it completely.” Says the villain in the new Blade Runner. All traces of the sons of God. The Adamic race. Total disposal.

Fear programs for viral looshing come from the unknown in regards to our possible fate on the level of soul when confronted with the idea of a cage. Not the fear of death. Those are temporary states. Fear of an unlimited cage, to be continually trapped in the Demiurge fear box. Red pillers as well as religious fanatics get caught in these traps all the time, using direct bible quotes as evidence. As well, alt. media tycoons David Icke or Sitchin programs can send you there. Aug Tellez can send you there. Even though Aug sometimes has some contradictory, positive messages. Aug is a mixed bag. Z ‘doesn’t recommend listening to Aug.’ Direct quote. But Aug doesn’t recommend Z, and calls him “a hoax,” working with a team. Information warfare. “The narcissists collapsing within,” replies Lily Kolosova. The rats jumping ship, ratting each other out, in their panic.

The mind/emotion system has to be “born again” out of the muck and mire of weaponized viral information systems. We can see this clearly in Hideo Kojima’s video game ‘Metal Gear Solid 5.’ Your character goes to a “factory of death” a closely guarded black-ops warehouse in the forest,  where victims, the local Africans, are strapped into filthy cots, sick and comatose with plague, throats wired up to tape recorders playing looped messages into their brains. Messages no doubt of a negative, viral nature. I assume messages playing up the “wrath of God,” convincing them that He plans to trick and trap them in neurological fear boxes forever. Messages about eternal fire and brimstone. No way out.

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(An interesting side note: there was a racial genocide component to that plot-point because the mimetic virus, the ‘words that kill’ could target specific languages, thus people who don’t speak that particular language are immune to the looped messages and wouldn’t develop the virus.)

There is a way to detox from this shit, these information viruses. Take borax and Epsom salt baths. Eat lots of raw fruits and vegetables. Don’t get their vaccines. Turn off 5G and constant Wi-Fi. Get out of their beams and blue light, out into nature. Get lots of sleep. Crystals, orgonite, indoor plants, sound healing. If you use cannabis use it once a week as a sacrament, not more. Meditate and do Chi Gung daily. Be very careful about who you listen to as a valid source of information, especially in the occult/esoteric/conspiracy world. I’ve learned the hard way that this is a dangerous arena fraught with hideous dead-ends.

Write it out. Write your way out of hell. And read the greats. I’ve already listed them, but there are more. But don’t trust any of them in totum, only trust your own self-initiatory process.

Even the Bible itself, contains both the keys of Heaven and Hell. The book is a paradox. That’s because it’s the bi-bull, the two bulls or pair-of-bulls/parables. It sends you to Hell and then provides the way out of said Hell, if you know how to interpret the book correctly. Learn the codes. There are different keys for reading the damn thing.

Neville Goddard has found a really good key for that book. Often you need the help of a school (or teacher who has been through initiation themselves). You can’t really do it on your own, at least at first. Different schools provide keys to different doors. Some doors lead to heaven. Some lead to hell. Some have mixed keys that lead up and down and back around. Z’s key sends you to hell. So you overcome it. And you find a better key. Z’s key is powerful though because he keys you into the same symbolism of Hollywood’s dark magicians, the Time Warners, and the Watch-Out-Ski’s Bros. Warning you about their desired transhumanist timeline. He knows their occult lingo backwards and forwards and how these dark wizards twist the biblical narrative to one that blames the Divine Feminine Sophia and portrays her as seeking Oblivion, a crazy suicide trip that we are all wrapped up in. His code IS valid, and self-evident (see the ‘Z’ Files tab), but it’s mostly reliant on Dark Wizard Hollywood poetry to really get the full effect. Thus it needs to be propped up on stories which themselves are coming from a shady source. Can’t rely on Hollywood to bring us reliable information, or should I say, information that is safe from demon-entity attachments. Trusting Hollywood codes is like trusting gossip you hear from some back-alley drug dealer.*

(*UPDATE, 6/23 – To reiterate this important point, the system Z talks about is valid, but unreliable. This means that it appears to be present in many phenomena, because it is built on symbols and archetypes that are indeed THERE, however it is a clever twisting of said symbols to fit an agenda or narrative that will send you to Hell, through the act of belief. I suspect that his system comes from a sect of Kabbalism that once held the divine gnosis but got perverted or corrupted over time by overly patriarchal influences and a disconnect from the divine feminine, which is reflected in our culture as the fall of Sophia. But a simple understanding of symbols will show that Sophia represents wisdom, and her fall means the loss of this all-knowing wisdom that every soul must go through as it descends into matter, and gets involved with what Burgoine calls the “involution” process. This is a divine process of each soul monad differentiating from the ALL, gaining its own individuality.)

Now, back to using pop culture as evidence for his ideas – Laura did catch on to that quite quickly, and I didn’t want to listen to her, at the time. But she is carrying her own demon attachments, unfortunately, even though she does share some good information. so you see, none of these bloodline or cult people, even the ones who disavow the programs, are simple folk. They have strong keys of mimetic, neurologically powerful ideas, but many of them knowingly or unknowingly will trap you in a new Hell, even while helping you out of the mainstream, blue-pill Hell. It’s weird and confusing. They mix it all up, the two columns –